Sex After Baby

Believe it or not, it's possible!

If you just had a baby, you might both be thinking, "Sex? Never doing THAT again!" Your partner may be a little weirded out by everything you just pushed out of your body, you're physically recuperating from pushing all that stuff out of your body, and you're both probably exhausted caring for the new little one.

Yeah, you feel like that right now, but trust me, in time you're gonna want to get busy again. That's how it's always worked; if not, we'd all be only children.

Even so, don't worry if you're not interested right off the bat. You probably don't feel so hot, and childbirth hormones are powerful stuff; you might find yourself far more involved in your newborn than your partner. This is common. Within a few weeks, you'll probably start thinking about sex again. The break is a good idea, anyway; your doctor will likely tell you to wait six weeks before intercourse to give yourself a chance to fully heal in there.

Here's the problem: while you may be "closed for repairs," your partner likely isn't. Try to reassure him however you can that you're still in the relationship and that you love him, too, not just the baby. It's a great time to rediscover foreplay.

When you resume having sex, keep in mind that your vagina may be tender and dry, especially if you're breastfeeding. Foreplay is always best for natural lubrication, but don't feel bad if it's not enough. It doesn't mean on its own that there's something wrong with you, or that you don't want your partner any more. Investigate the wide world of personal lubricants. Be cautious; some people find certain lubes irritating, so get yourself a few sample packets and see what works for you. Keep a damp washcloth nearby in case you need to wipe one off right away--you're probably not going to get hurt testing lubes, but of all the skin on your body to be unhappy with an ingredient, the skin there has gotta be the owiest.

Another thing to consider when you resume having sex: some of your usual positions might not feel so hot right now. Not surprising--you're still healing. Try to keep pressure off your abdomen; tell your partner this is a good time to explore. Call your doctor if you have continued pain with post-baby sex. Sometimes, you might need additional medical treatment, and it's better safe than sorry.

But perhaps the number one barrier to sex after childbirth for many women is just plain exhaustion. Be frank with your partner. If he wants you to be in the mood, he's gotta make sure you get some rest. You may find that when you put it that way, the midnight diaper changes are on him!

By the way: For more great advice on sex after childbirth, you're really going to want to check out Sex After Pregnancy. It's one of the best guides out there for easing back into an active sex life after your little one arrives.

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